This blog is my own journey through healing, finding strength in my deen (faith) and finding hope after loss.
I lost my father and then a child in the span of a little more than a year. I remember searching and searching for the Islamic perspective on grief, loss and healing while I was in the throes of those difficult times. I wanted to find something that would help me deal with the feelings I found myself drowning in. I wanted to read articles and listen to lectures that would help deal with the doubts Shaytan was putting in my mind. I wanted to read the experiences of other Muslim brothers and sisters about how they dealt with loss and grief and how they found strength and healing in their deen.
But there was very little out there on the internet. What little was available was scattered and difficult to find. It was a quote buried somewhere in an article or a few paragraphs in a post shared on some scholar’s Facebook page. I found comfort in the Quran and the ahadith, in zikr and duas, in the writings and works of different scholars and writers, and in the words and experiences of sisters who I was able to reach out to through acquaintances and online groups. But I spent a lot of time digging through a lot of material to find what answered my questions, dealt with my doubts and calmed my heart.
There are many non-Muslim resources available on the internet that focus on grief, loss and healing. Although helpful, I felt these resources missed a vital component for us Muslims and that is the component of our faith. In Islam, we believe this life is not the end. We know that Allah returns what we lose, whether it is in this dunya (world) or the next. We know death is pre-written and that everyone has an appointed time. We know everything we experience is a test and has some higher purpose. And we know that Allah in His Infinite Wisdom does whatever is best for us even if we don’t understand how right now.
All of this makes a huge difference to how we experience loss and grief.
Yes, grief is the same for everyone, it hurts in the same ways, the heart aches, there are tears, sadness, a feeling of emptiness, guilt, questions and doubts.
But Islam teaches us ways to deal with that grief, that emptiness and those doubts and questions. Islam has a lot of answers for us. Answers that give us peace, strength and hope. We know our tears, our grief and our losses are not meaningless. We know Allah (swt) has a greater plan for us and we trust His Wisdom and His plan. Our deen (faith) is the only thing that gives us peace at such times. Our faith is what gives us hope and strength to move on.
I remember the call I got from one of the social workers from the hospital to check up on me after my stillbirth. She was very compassionate and helpful. She asked me how I was doing in all aspects: emotionally, psychologically, physically and spiritually. When she hit the spirituality question, she said a lot of people are angry with God at such times and asked how I was doing spiritually. I remember saying I was finding a lot of peace in my faith and she was a little surprised. Then she said, so you are finding meaning in your faith to something that otherwise doesn’t seem to have meaning? I said yes, alhamdulillah.
That is when I felt an even stronger need to reach out to people and read and listen to stuff that would provide me with the Islamic perspective, something that would strengthen my faith, someone who would just keep repeating to me that this was pre-written, that this is how Allah decided it, that Allah has a greater plan in all of this. I knew some of those things already but I needed to have them repeated to me in this context. I needed to keep talking about it. I needed to keep reminding myself of Allah’s Mercy and His plan. That is when I really felt the need for more resources in our community that provide an Islamic perspective on grief, loss and healing.
Alhamdulillah, I got support from some very considerate sisters who helped me talk out my concerns, who reminded me of Allah’s plan in all of this and who helped answer my questions and doubts through the Quran and ahadith. Alhamdulillah, I was able to dig through and find resources that strengthened my belief and gave me peace.
Over those months, I also came across other sisters who were experiencing the loss of a child or a loved one and I saw them going through the same feelings, thoughts, doubts and questions I remember going through. Some of them were searching for resources to help them but were having a hard time finding them.
That is why I want this blog to be a place where I can gather and share all that helped me. I want those discussions I had, those topics I researched, those ahadith and ayaat (verses) that gave me peace to be easily available to anyone facing a loss, grief or a trying circumstance in life. I want people to hope and find strength. I want to help myself continue to find peace and strength. I want us all to journey through healing together and to find strength in our deen moving forward. I want this to be a community where we strengthen each other.
I don’t know the test you are going through, or the loss you have faced. But I know that Allah (swt) has a plan for you. Just like He has a plan for me. Allah loves us many times more than our own mothers, so how could we ever doubt that?
May you find peace, healing and strength.
Many of the reminders on this website are reminders to myself before anyone else. In a way, this is a community for everyone. Because life’s tests never really end. Sometimes you are in the thick of it and that’s when you need reminders and sometimes you have sailed through, and that’s when you can help others and also find strength as you move on.
To anyone who would like to share their story or reflections on this blog as a guest post or would like to contribute any resources that helped them through their test, please feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I pray this can be a place where we all find hope and strength.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “The most beloved of people according to Allah is he who brings most benefit to people, and the most beloved of deeds according to Allah the Mighty, the Magnificent, is that you bring happiness to a fellow Muslim, or relieve him of distress, or pay off his debt or stave away hunger from him. It is more beloved to me that I walk with my Muslim brother in his time of need than I stay secluded in the mosque for a month.” (Tabarani, grade Hasan, Silsilah Saheeha, Al-Albani)
‘Abd Allah bin Umar reported the Prophet (ﷺ) as saying: “A Muslim is a Muslim’s brother: he does not wrong him or abandon him. If anyone cares for his brother’s need, Allah will care for his need; if anyone removes a Muslim’s anxiety, Allah will remove from him, on account of it, one of the anxieties of the Day of Resurrection; and if anyone conceals a Muslim’s fault, Allah will conceal his fault on the Day of resurrection.” (Sunan Abi Dawud)